So, last year was quite the year for medical expenses for me. Fortunately, I do live in Canada, where my surgery and hospital stay were completely covered by our health care system.
But that doesn't mean that there weren't major costs associated with this surgery for me. The surgical splint was $500 and wasn't covered under any of my benefit plans. Also, I had my surgery in another city, which meant lots of travelling back and forth to see my surgeon. And then there was a lengthy recovery, which included extra insurance, medications, physiotherapy, massage therapy (including lymph drainage massage), acupuncture, naturopathy, homeopathy, orthodontics and dentistry.
I avoided totalling it all up until now. And the damage: more than $4,700.
Wow. That's a lot. And the above is just the amount my benefits didn't cover. If it were the full amount, it would be another few thousand for sure (not to mention the shortfall in my gross pay because of all the work I missed due to related illnesses over the past year.)
Then again, being able to chew like a normal person and replace frequent migraines with a winning smile?
Priceless.
And hey, at least I get a good tax return this year.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Ask Bella: Bite post-surgery
Q: Hi Bella. I'm having the exact same surgery in a month or so and your blog has helped me so much to prepare myself. Thank you so much for sharing your procedure! I've got a couple of questions (if you don't mind answering).
Immediately after surgery, do you have a normal bite? - Do your back molars touch?
My orthodontist will have me slide my lower jaw forward to give me (and him) an idea on how it will look after the surgery. When doing this, of course there is a strain and it's not comfortable. After surgery (and healing), does the moving of the jaw forward feel normal and comfortable/relaxed? - Does it feel like you're jutting your jaw forward all the time?
A: I do believe I had a normal bite after surgery. I was wired shut for two weeks, but from what I can remember, my molars did touch at the back.
As for your other question, it sounds like your orthodontist was trying to give you an idea of the aesthetics of your face post-surgery - the changes to your chin/jaw line and what you look like. That uncomfortable strain you were feeling isn't reflective of what it's going to feel like post-surgery because that's not what's going to be happening to your jaw.
You jutting your jaw forward pre-surgery means moving the lower jaw forward in its joint, which is not what the surgery does. The surgery cuts into the bones on the sides of the jaw and lengthens them, making your jaw bone longer. This way, your joint stays put and you're able to use your jaw the way "normal" people do - without jutting it forward to be able to have that function and aesthetic.
Does that make sense?
After the surgery, your joint and muscles will have to make some accommodations to get used to your new jaw length/position, but it won't be the same feeling as jutting it forward. I don't know how much advancement you're having (mine was 4 mm) but I imagine there is more of a difference in feeling with larger advancements because your muscles have to stretch/change their orientation to connect with a longer jaw. Also, don't forget that you will also have some numbness in your chin, which will affect your feeling of what's "normal."
Good luck!
*To ask Bella a question about her jaw surgery, email her at smilingbella at gmail dot com or leave a comment on this post. Go ahead: ask away!!
Immediately after surgery, do you have a normal bite? - Do your back molars touch?
My orthodontist will have me slide my lower jaw forward to give me (and him) an idea on how it will look after the surgery. When doing this, of course there is a strain and it's not comfortable. After surgery (and healing), does the moving of the jaw forward feel normal and comfortable/relaxed? - Does it feel like you're jutting your jaw forward all the time?
A: I do believe I had a normal bite after surgery. I was wired shut for two weeks, but from what I can remember, my molars did touch at the back.
As for your other question, it sounds like your orthodontist was trying to give you an idea of the aesthetics of your face post-surgery - the changes to your chin/jaw line and what you look like. That uncomfortable strain you were feeling isn't reflective of what it's going to feel like post-surgery because that's not what's going to be happening to your jaw.
You jutting your jaw forward pre-surgery means moving the lower jaw forward in its joint, which is not what the surgery does. The surgery cuts into the bones on the sides of the jaw and lengthens them, making your jaw bone longer. This way, your joint stays put and you're able to use your jaw the way "normal" people do - without jutting it forward to be able to have that function and aesthetic.
Does that make sense?
After the surgery, your joint and muscles will have to make some accommodations to get used to your new jaw length/position, but it won't be the same feeling as jutting it forward. I don't know how much advancement you're having (mine was 4 mm) but I imagine there is more of a difference in feeling with larger advancements because your muscles have to stretch/change their orientation to connect with a longer jaw. Also, don't forget that you will also have some numbness in your chin, which will affect your feeling of what's "normal."
Good luck!
*To ask Bella a question about her jaw surgery, email her at smilingbella at gmail dot com or leave a comment on this post. Go ahead: ask away!!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Ask Bella: Fatigue and depression
Q: I appreciate your discussion of fatigue and depression post surgery, and hope you will continue to raise this concern in your forthcoming blog updates. Depression and fatigue are two matters that I am worried about because I already struggle with these difficulties. I would appreciate learning more about the strategies you have used (or that others have used) for managing fatigue and depression after surgery.
A: Thank you so much for this question. I've noticed that a fair amount of people who find my blog through Internet searches are looking for information on this topic, and I also know that this is one of those things not a lot of people want to talk about, because of the stigma attached to depression.
For those of us who already struggle with fatigue and depression (myself included) on an ongoing basis, surgery can trigger these problems, which, in turn, can lengthen the recovery period.
I had a physiotherapist who told me once that many of the people she saw in rehabilitation programs (after major car accidents, injuries, etc.) were having serious mental illness problems. The way she put it was that everyone has his/her breaking point - there is only so much the mind can take. So, some people may be coping with regular everyday life just fine, but intense stress, such as that caused by a physical injury or illness, will push them over that edge.
I found that piece of information very interesting, particularly because I know how regular stress can affect my ability to cope with everyday life. That was part of the reason I worked so hard at being educated and mentally prepared for the surgery, with the determination to stay as positive as I possibly could about it. Unfortunately, even with my best efforts, I did plunge into depression and have been struggling with that combined with fatigue for this past year.
I don't say this to scare anyone with mental health problems from having this surgery - I still believe the positives far outweigh the negatives. It's just that I now have an additional level of healing to deal with than others who have had the same surgery.
In addition to mentally preparing yourself and having a really good understanding of what you're getting into, there are some other preparations you can make to deal with depression, post-surgery or otherwise:
Supplements: There are a number of supplements I take to help with depression/anxiety and I find they do help (please check with your doctor before taking any supplements):
A: Thank you so much for this question. I've noticed that a fair amount of people who find my blog through Internet searches are looking for information on this topic, and I also know that this is one of those things not a lot of people want to talk about, because of the stigma attached to depression.
For those of us who already struggle with fatigue and depression (myself included) on an ongoing basis, surgery can trigger these problems, which, in turn, can lengthen the recovery period.
I had a physiotherapist who told me once that many of the people she saw in rehabilitation programs (after major car accidents, injuries, etc.) were having serious mental illness problems. The way she put it was that everyone has his/her breaking point - there is only so much the mind can take. So, some people may be coping with regular everyday life just fine, but intense stress, such as that caused by a physical injury or illness, will push them over that edge.
I found that piece of information very interesting, particularly because I know how regular stress can affect my ability to cope with everyday life. That was part of the reason I worked so hard at being educated and mentally prepared for the surgery, with the determination to stay as positive as I possibly could about it. Unfortunately, even with my best efforts, I did plunge into depression and have been struggling with that combined with fatigue for this past year.
I don't say this to scare anyone with mental health problems from having this surgery - I still believe the positives far outweigh the negatives. It's just that I now have an additional level of healing to deal with than others who have had the same surgery.
In addition to mentally preparing yourself and having a really good understanding of what you're getting into, there are some other preparations you can make to deal with depression, post-surgery or otherwise:
Supplements: There are a number of supplements I take to help with depression/anxiety and I find they do help (please check with your doctor before taking any supplements):
- B Complex - I take B50 complex twice a day (with meals). It's good for nerves and I find I deal much better with life when I'm on it. On the plus side, it can also help your nerve endings repair themselves after surgery.
- Vitamin C - I take 1,000 mgs twice a day (with meals). Taking up to 3,000 mgs, from what I understand, is helpful with depression.
- Omega 3 Fatty Acids - I take 1,000 mgs of salmon oil (you could substitute other fish oil or flax seed oil - liquid or caplets) twice a day (with meals). This is one of the few supplements psychiatrists agree really help people with mental health issues.
- Vitamin D - I take 2,000 mgs once a day (with breakfast). Those of us in more northern climates don't get enough of this essential vitamin because we don't get as much sunlight. This is especially important in the winter and Vitamin D deficiency may be a cause of seasonal depression.
- Calcium/Magnesium - If I'm having problems sleeping due to stress, I will take a calcium supplement (1,000 mgs, with a small snack) before bed. The reason you want a calcium/magnesium combination supplement is that calcium on its own can cause constipation.
Know the physical symptoms of depression: It's easy to slip into depression without knowing it. It can kind of sneak up on you. Sometimes, I have the classic symptoms and I know right away when to start seeking help. After the surgery, I just thought I was exhausted and had the flu all the time (for months and months and months, which should have tipped me off.) It was only after I went back to my doctor for numerous tests (once the anemia issue was cleared up) that she suggested that I may actually be depressed instead of having something physically wrong with me.
Seek medical help: Going to your doctor to talk about depression can be scary and intimidating if you've never done it before, or even if you have. No one wants to have to say those words. Then again, they can be very empowering because by speaking the truth out loud, you are able to do something about it. Get checked out for the other physical possibilities that could be causing the symptoms - your doctor will know what to look for (such as anemia, thyroid problems, etc.)
Get a specialist: If you have a history of mental health issues or have mental health problems running in your family, it's a good idea to have a psychiatrist. They know the drugs a lot better than general practitioners do, and you want someone with knowledge on your side for those situations where a family history may make your case a bit more complicated.
In my opinion, it's even better to get yourself in with a specialist when you're in a good place and not in crisis (i.e. well before the surgery.) In doing so, you can develop a relationship with your psychiatrist before something happens, and he/she can get to know you when you're at your best. That way, you are less vulnerable when something happens and have a better chance of being an active participant in your own care. Not to mention that there are usually long waiting lists for specialists (here in Saskatchewan, it's 8-9 months to get in with a psychiatrist when you're referred by a family doctor!!)
Therapy: Talking to someone can help get the weight of the world off your shoulders and give you some perspective on stressful situations. In some cases, this can be enough to keep you from sliding down into depression. In others, it can help you manage the depression and claw your way out. There are really no downsides to this. Get it all out!
Drugs: Along with the medical help and psychiatrists are, you guessed it, drugs. Some people are really against this route. I have been one of those people in the past. However, I got to a point where I could no longer function in everyday life and the only way I could get out of bed, make it to work and be even remotely social was to start taking antidepressants.
Not saying that this is the choice for everyone, but I didn't really have a choice. I fought it for a long time, because of the stigma, because of the fact that I didn't want to admit that I had something that I had seen others in my family struggle with, because I wanted to be "stronger" than that and pull myself out of that pit with my own sheer willpower.
This illness is something that runs quite rampantly in my family, and I had to face the reality that my biology needs some chemical help. That's just the way it is, and it doesn't make me a weaker or lesser person than anyone else (though I still have moments when I think this - I'll have to work on that in therapy, I suppose.)
Things have been getting better, but we're still trying to get the drug doses right, so it's not like the drugs are a cure-all by any means. I know that I have to continue doing everything else on this list to ensure that my mental health is taken care of. Which brings us to...
Exercise: Yeah, I'm still working on this one. They say that exercise improves pretty much every mental illness. But the problem with mental illness is that you're too exhausted/depressed/anxious to exercise. I mean, if you can't get out of bed in the morning, are you seriously going to go for a jog around the block? I think not! But I'm hoping that the drugs can put me in a good enough place that I can start exercising to stop the cycle of depression.
Does anyone else want to add to the list? How do you cope with depression?
*To ask Bella a question about her jaw surgery, email her at smilingbella at gmail dot com or leave a comment on this post. Go ahead: ask away!!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Ask Bella: Update on "Changes in appearance"
There was a strong response from my blog readers on this Ask Bella post a few months ago, so I'm sure you'll be happy to hear this update:
Kerry Rose has left a new comment on your post "Ask Bella: Changes in appearance":
I just wanted to email an update about this particular post. I am the gal that sent in the question in the first place. Its now 12-14-08 which means I am almost 3 months post-op.
I have adjusted to my altered appearance and my initial terrified reaction at my transformation.
In fact, my post-surgery experience unfolded in ways I never expected.
After I sent this message, I started to experience great amounts of pain as a result of muscle spasms. For about a week, I couldn't sleep because the muscle spasms would wake me up every few minutes. Using a combo of prescribed sleeping pills and the pain medications, I was able to overcome it.
Then about 6-weeks post-op, I experienced an unanticipated break-up with a person with whom I had been dating for 5 1/2 years.
Ironically, I have met a lot of fellow ortho patients whose surgeries were the catalyst for numerous major changes in their life (including break-ups like mine).
I can honestly say that I am better than great!
I still think that my doctor should have been more clear about the physical transformation I would go through. I would even suggest that going to a therapist that deals with body issues (specifically one that relates to people undergoing surgeries) should be done ahead of surgery.
Thanks for all of the comments. It turned out to be so important for me to express what I was going through - especially because I had become somewhat of a prisoner of my home and my body. I needed reaffirmation that there was some action I could take to change my situation.
Kerry Rose has left a new comment on your post "Ask Bella: Changes in appearance":
I just wanted to email an update about this particular post. I am the gal that sent in the question in the first place. Its now 12-14-08 which means I am almost 3 months post-op.
I have adjusted to my altered appearance and my initial terrified reaction at my transformation.
In fact, my post-surgery experience unfolded in ways I never expected.
After I sent this message, I started to experience great amounts of pain as a result of muscle spasms. For about a week, I couldn't sleep because the muscle spasms would wake me up every few minutes. Using a combo of prescribed sleeping pills and the pain medications, I was able to overcome it.
Then about 6-weeks post-op, I experienced an unanticipated break-up with a person with whom I had been dating for 5 1/2 years.
Ironically, I have met a lot of fellow ortho patients whose surgeries were the catalyst for numerous major changes in their life (including break-ups like mine).
I can honestly say that I am better than great!
I still think that my doctor should have been more clear about the physical transformation I would go through. I would even suggest that going to a therapist that deals with body issues (specifically one that relates to people undergoing surgeries) should be done ahead of surgery.
Thanks for all of the comments. It turned out to be so important for me to express what I was going through - especially because I had become somewhat of a prisoner of my home and my body. I needed reaffirmation that there was some action I could take to change my situation.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
10 months post-surgery
It's 10 months since my jaw surgery. WTF?
In good news, The Jaw Master Grand Pouba of Physiotherapy with Thumbs of Steel has signed off on me, meaning that I don't have to go every week to get my jaw stretched anymore. My range of motion is somewhere between 42-46 mm now (depending on the day), which is well within normal range. Though he did mention that he expected that I would be a "long-term intermittent" patient of theirs.
I'm okay with the intermittentness, seeing that each appointment costs me $42 and doing that weekly for almost a year (on top of my many other appointments) has gotten pretty expensive.
Right now, my regular physiotherapist has me coming for TMJ classes, where I learn stretches for my jaw that I can do without her. She wants me to do them everyday for a period of time, with our sessions to evaluate whether I'm doing them correctly. Then, the responsibility will fall on my shoulders and I will only go to physio when the pain/tension gets really bad, due to stress, etc.
My braces are still on (having been taken off for three months and then put back on because my upper teeth relapsed), which causes some tenderness. Since they've been back on, I've noticed that my joint has been kind of crunchy and poppy when I open my mouth really wide. I hope that the joint is just settling and adapting to the new position of my teeth and that this isn't going to become a long-term problem.
In not-so-good news, I've been continuing to have problems with fatigue and depression. I haven't felt physically well since my surgery. I've tried to be upbeat and proactive about everything, but the stress of the long recovery and anemia seems to have taken its toll on my body and mental health.
It took a long time for my doctor and me to figure out that this is a depression, because there were so many other things going on with my body, and because the symptoms I was experiencing were very physical - headaches, aches and pains, fatigue, exhaustion, etc. I also have a family history of this kind of thing, so it's not too surprising that this is my body's reaction to something as intense as major jaw surgery.
So, I'm off work for awhile to rest and get this fatigue/depression taken care of. I'm optimistic that in the next few months, I'll get back to my old fabulous self, with a winning smile that I can't help but show off.
In good news, The Jaw Master Grand Pouba of Physiotherapy with Thumbs of Steel has signed off on me, meaning that I don't have to go every week to get my jaw stretched anymore. My range of motion is somewhere between 42-46 mm now (depending on the day), which is well within normal range. Though he did mention that he expected that I would be a "long-term intermittent" patient of theirs.
I'm okay with the intermittentness, seeing that each appointment costs me $42 and doing that weekly for almost a year (on top of my many other appointments) has gotten pretty expensive.
Right now, my regular physiotherapist has me coming for TMJ classes, where I learn stretches for my jaw that I can do without her. She wants me to do them everyday for a period of time, with our sessions to evaluate whether I'm doing them correctly. Then, the responsibility will fall on my shoulders and I will only go to physio when the pain/tension gets really bad, due to stress, etc.
My braces are still on (having been taken off for three months and then put back on because my upper teeth relapsed), which causes some tenderness. Since they've been back on, I've noticed that my joint has been kind of crunchy and poppy when I open my mouth really wide. I hope that the joint is just settling and adapting to the new position of my teeth and that this isn't going to become a long-term problem.
In not-so-good news, I've been continuing to have problems with fatigue and depression. I haven't felt physically well since my surgery. I've tried to be upbeat and proactive about everything, but the stress of the long recovery and anemia seems to have taken its toll on my body and mental health.
It took a long time for my doctor and me to figure out that this is a depression, because there were so many other things going on with my body, and because the symptoms I was experiencing were very physical - headaches, aches and pains, fatigue, exhaustion, etc. I also have a family history of this kind of thing, so it's not too surprising that this is my body's reaction to something as intense as major jaw surgery.
So, I'm off work for awhile to rest and get this fatigue/depression taken care of. I'm optimistic that in the next few months, I'll get back to my old fabulous self, with a winning smile that I can't help but show off.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
And the heavens opened and there was much rejoicing
Yesterday, I went on an epic quest in search of the elusive orthodontic wax.
I was positive that I had seen it on a particular shelf in a drug store the last time I was there. I went to a different location of the same chain, only to find they didn't carry it.
I then drove all the way across town to the original location where I'd seen the wax, expecting that it would be exactly where it was just a few days ago, but it wasn't there, either.
I begged the store clerks to help me find it, but they confirmed the fact that it wasn't there. I soon realized that I was so desperate for the stuff that I had actually been hallucinating it was at the store. They don't carry it, and hadn't carried it for years. It was all just a beautiful, beautiful dream created by my wax-deprived mind.
It's kind of sad, really.
I was almost in tears when I realized that you can't really buy this stuff in stores, at least not in my city. Also, my orthodontist doesn't have an office in town - he just comes in on weekends every few weeks, so it's not as though I could get some from him.
And then one of the clerks suggested I go to the dentist's office in the mall to see if they had any.
Good idea! I ran there and begged the clerk at the desk for some, conveniently not mentioning that I was not at all a patient at that office.
She wasn't sure if they had any, but after much searching in a back room, she came out with a plastic baggie with about a lifetime supply of the stuff. I almost kissed her, I was so relieved.
And then I mushed a whole bunch of that stuff into my wires and cried tears of joy.
Sigh.
Life is good.
I was positive that I had seen it on a particular shelf in a drug store the last time I was there. I went to a different location of the same chain, only to find they didn't carry it.
I then drove all the way across town to the original location where I'd seen the wax, expecting that it would be exactly where it was just a few days ago, but it wasn't there, either.
I begged the store clerks to help me find it, but they confirmed the fact that it wasn't there. I soon realized that I was so desperate for the stuff that I had actually been hallucinating it was at the store. They don't carry it, and hadn't carried it for years. It was all just a beautiful, beautiful dream created by my wax-deprived mind.
It's kind of sad, really.
I was almost in tears when I realized that you can't really buy this stuff in stores, at least not in my city. Also, my orthodontist doesn't have an office in town - he just comes in on weekends every few weeks, so it's not as though I could get some from him.
And then one of the clerks suggested I go to the dentist's office in the mall to see if they had any.
Good idea! I ran there and begged the clerk at the desk for some, conveniently not mentioning that I was not at all a patient at that office.
She wasn't sure if they had any, but after much searching in a back room, she came out with a plastic baggie with about a lifetime supply of the stuff. I almost kissed her, I was so relieved.
And then I mushed a whole bunch of that stuff into my wires and cried tears of joy.
Sigh.
Life is good.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Damn you, Four Months Ago Bella!
One of my new brackets is rubbing against the inside of my upper lip, creating a very raw bump that catches on the metal every time I talk, smile, eat and...do just about everything.
Last night, I tore apart my purse, bathroom, bedroom searching for that little magical box of orthodontic wax. The fact that I couldn't find it anywhere drove me absolutely nuts, because I'm the Queen of knowing exactly where all of my stuff is at any given time. It's my thing.
As I obsessed over where it could possibly be, I suddenly got a very distinct image in my mind of me tossing the box in the garbage four months ago and saying smugly to myself, "Hah! I'm never going to need that again!"
Right now, I would be quite happy to smack Four Months Ago Bella across her braceless face.
(In case you were wondering: Yup, braces + raw lip = cranky Bella.)
Last night, I tore apart my purse, bathroom, bedroom searching for that little magical box of orthodontic wax. The fact that I couldn't find it anywhere drove me absolutely nuts, because I'm the Queen of knowing exactly where all of my stuff is at any given time. It's my thing.
As I obsessed over where it could possibly be, I suddenly got a very distinct image in my mind of me tossing the box in the garbage four months ago and saying smugly to myself, "Hah! I'm never going to need that again!"
Right now, I would be quite happy to smack Four Months Ago Bella across her braceless face.
(In case you were wondering: Yup, braces + raw lip = cranky Bella.)
Monday, October 27, 2008
Ask Bella: Fuzzy teeth
Q: I have having trouble with oral health. Did your mouth feel nasty after your surgery??? My tongue is white and I am trying to drink water but my mouth feels gross. I had surgery on my top jaw and a huge metal splint put in my mouth that has to stay there for six weeks until the next surgery. I try to brush my teeth (the bottom anyway) but things still are not great. Is this to be expected? I want to know if its normal or if I am doing something wrong.
A: Oh, how I remember the grossness of my mouth post-surgery, and I was only wired shut for two weeks. The first week was alright, but by the second week, I could definitely feel a fuzz growing on the back of my lower teeth. When I got the wires off, my teeth were brown. It was absolutely disgusting.
Gee, thanks for taking me back to those oh-so-happy times :)
I actually think that was the worst part of the surgery for me. Not being able to get the crud off my teeth with all that metal in my mouth, so I do feel for you. The only advice I can give you is to keep doing what you're doing (brushing the bottom teeth), and also get a Water Pik to try and get some jet action around that splint (being careful to aim it away from any stitches, etc.) and do lots of mouth rinses with salt water and/or alcohol-free mouthwash.
And then accept the fact that probably no matter what you do, your mouth will be gross and fuzzy for a few weeks, because that's the way it goes. (I did all of these things and still had fuzzy, brown teeth after two weeks, but you gotta at least try, right?)
Once you're done doing what you gotta do, take some time to fantasize about the moment when you get to brush away all that fuzzy sludge with a toothbrush until you wear its bristles down to nubs.
Aaaaaahhhh. Better than porn.
(I bet it's even better than German orthodontic fetish porn. Just guessing.)
Seriously, good luck. This sucks, but it will all be worthwhile once it's all over.
*To ask Bella a question about her jaw surgery, email her at smilingbella at gmail dot com or leave a comment on this post. Go ahead: ask away!!
A: Oh, how I remember the grossness of my mouth post-surgery, and I was only wired shut for two weeks. The first week was alright, but by the second week, I could definitely feel a fuzz growing on the back of my lower teeth. When I got the wires off, my teeth were brown. It was absolutely disgusting.
Gee, thanks for taking me back to those oh-so-happy times :)
I actually think that was the worst part of the surgery for me. Not being able to get the crud off my teeth with all that metal in my mouth, so I do feel for you. The only advice I can give you is to keep doing what you're doing (brushing the bottom teeth), and also get a Water Pik to try and get some jet action around that splint (being careful to aim it away from any stitches, etc.) and do lots of mouth rinses with salt water and/or alcohol-free mouthwash.
And then accept the fact that probably no matter what you do, your mouth will be gross and fuzzy for a few weeks, because that's the way it goes. (I did all of these things and still had fuzzy, brown teeth after two weeks, but you gotta at least try, right?)
Once you're done doing what you gotta do, take some time to fantasize about the moment when you get to brush away all that fuzzy sludge with a toothbrush until you wear its bristles down to nubs.
Aaaaaahhhh. Better than porn.
(I bet it's even better than German orthodontic fetish porn. Just guessing.)
Seriously, good luck. This sucks, but it will all be worthwhile once it's all over.
*To ask Bella a question about her jaw surgery, email her at smilingbella at gmail dot com or leave a comment on this post. Go ahead: ask away!!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Choo chooo
It's true: the train tracks, they are back on.
As my orthodontist was placing them back on, he commented, "I don't even remember the last time I've had to re-place brackets because I needed to fix something."
So, I've gone from the patient who had her braces off after surgery in record time, to the only one in recent memory who has had hers put back on.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
As my orthodontist was placing them back on, he commented, "I don't even remember the last time I've had to re-place brackets because I needed to fix something."
So, I've gone from the patient who had her braces off after surgery in record time, to the only one in recent memory who has had hers put back on.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Ask Bella: Changes in appearance
Q: I had upper and lower jaw surgery (turbinates removal & genioplasty as well) about 2 1/2 weeks ago. Like most people, I did this surgery for purposes of function and not appearance. I loved my appearance - I loved how dainty I thought I looked.
While I don't think my reaction a week post-op is much indication of how I will feel forever...after most of the swelling had gone down and I could tell what I would look like, I was devastated. I didn't recognize myself. I had this dysmorphic type of reaction to the results of my surgery and I couldn't stop staring at what I saw as the destruction of my appearance. Even 2 1/2 weeks out, the steroids have worn off, I'm not on meds, I'm getting normal sleep, I'm not in much pain at all....yet my reaction to the alteration of my appearance still stays.
Have you received emails from other people that have had this reaction? Do you know how they overcame it?
A: I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. Your email made me want to reach out and hug you.
My surgery wasn't nearly as extensive as yours, so I can't speak to the dysmorphic reaction to your reflection from personal experience; however, I have read on message boards about other people who have had similar reactions to yours.
And, really, who can blame you? We all identify with our outer appearance - you've lived within this skull and skin your entire life and then one day, suddenly, you look in the mirror and don't recognize the person staring back at you? That is a huge shock to the senses, psyche, and identity. How are you supposed to just accept that you look completely different in just 2 1/2 weeks?
Let yourself mourn your old appearance. It's okay to feel sad because you have lost something that was a big part of who you are. But at the same time, try to find things that you like about your new appearance. Take a good look. Check out your profile. (I know I always hated mine because my weak chin made my nose look bigger. Now, it's more in proportion, which I like a lot.) Make a list of what you like and focus on that as much as you can. Because the reality is that this is what you look like now, so you need to find ways to look at yourself in the mirror and like what you see, after the surgery.
I think time will help, focusing on the positive will help, and then if you still feel that things aren't where you would like them to be, talking to a therapist would be the next step.
When I'm frustrated and upset about the fact that I still don't feel like myself these days (I'm struggling with a lot of fatigue, even after my post-surgery anemia has gotten better), my boyfriend always says to me, "You're pretty hard on yourself, you know." It makes me realize that I do put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect, to be healthy, to be this super achiever and that sometimes, I just need to be good to myself and say, "It's okay if it's not happening as fast as I want. I'll get there" and just give myself a break for once.
Two and a half weeks is not that long. Even if everything seems to be going swimmingly, you've had major, major surgery where they took a bone saw to your face and rearranged your bones. That affects your body and your mind and your spirit in a big way. So, don't pressure yourself to be totally healed and accepting of everything just yet.
Just be good to yourself. I hope everything goes well for you.
*To ask Bella a question about her jaw surgery, email her at smilingbella at gmail dot com or leave a comment on this post. Go ahead: ask away!!
While I don't think my reaction a week post-op is much indication of how I will feel forever...after most of the swelling had gone down and I could tell what I would look like, I was devastated. I didn't recognize myself. I had this dysmorphic type of reaction to the results of my surgery and I couldn't stop staring at what I saw as the destruction of my appearance. Even 2 1/2 weeks out, the steroids have worn off, I'm not on meds, I'm getting normal sleep, I'm not in much pain at all....yet my reaction to the alteration of my appearance still stays.
Have you received emails from other people that have had this reaction? Do you know how they overcame it?
A: I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. Your email made me want to reach out and hug you.
My surgery wasn't nearly as extensive as yours, so I can't speak to the dysmorphic reaction to your reflection from personal experience; however, I have read on message boards about other people who have had similar reactions to yours.
And, really, who can blame you? We all identify with our outer appearance - you've lived within this skull and skin your entire life and then one day, suddenly, you look in the mirror and don't recognize the person staring back at you? That is a huge shock to the senses, psyche, and identity. How are you supposed to just accept that you look completely different in just 2 1/2 weeks?
Let yourself mourn your old appearance. It's okay to feel sad because you have lost something that was a big part of who you are. But at the same time, try to find things that you like about your new appearance. Take a good look. Check out your profile. (I know I always hated mine because my weak chin made my nose look bigger. Now, it's more in proportion, which I like a lot.) Make a list of what you like and focus on that as much as you can. Because the reality is that this is what you look like now, so you need to find ways to look at yourself in the mirror and like what you see, after the surgery.
I think time will help, focusing on the positive will help, and then if you still feel that things aren't where you would like them to be, talking to a therapist would be the next step.
When I'm frustrated and upset about the fact that I still don't feel like myself these days (I'm struggling with a lot of fatigue, even after my post-surgery anemia has gotten better), my boyfriend always says to me, "You're pretty hard on yourself, you know." It makes me realize that I do put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect, to be healthy, to be this super achiever and that sometimes, I just need to be good to myself and say, "It's okay if it's not happening as fast as I want. I'll get there" and just give myself a break for once.
Two and a half weeks is not that long. Even if everything seems to be going swimmingly, you've had major, major surgery where they took a bone saw to your face and rearranged your bones. That affects your body and your mind and your spirit in a big way. So, don't pressure yourself to be totally healed and accepting of everything just yet.
Just be good to yourself. I hope everything goes well for you.
*To ask Bella a question about her jaw surgery, email her at smilingbella at gmail dot com or leave a comment on this post. Go ahead: ask away!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
